Wednesday, July 18

i'm not a DOVE, not yet a woman

- The moment has arrived. I am finally writing the lines with which I'll premiere my very own and widely-kown first project. Things got a little stuck after the first week of shooting but I managed to finish it in time (July'07).
The project started out as a request from my sister, Paloma (dove in Spanish), to be featured on my blog; yes was the only possible answer. A few months passed by until the inspiration came to me; I shall use a mortal to portrait my personal view of stardom: EXCESS. And I decided to name the photoshoot "Overdressed in daily situations", for that is how I see celebritiness now; as a business of excess and pomp tied to the lack of taste —only I added my "gusto". This is, therefore, my view on this matter through a compilation of photographs styled and shot —forgive me for my absolute lack of experience— by myself and modeled by my sister Paloma. [Click on the images to enlarge]

Anyone who takes a look, even if it's quick, at all the fashion magazines —yes I also include those who dare to call themselves so— you will find that, unless you read tasteful Vogue, all of them are packed to the point of insanity with celebrity pictures bearing the same bags, shoes, scarves and any accesory you can think of. However, when I go over all these mags, I find some other aspect even more attention-catching; I'll call it "overdressment". I laugh at the ludicrous obsession of being more dressed up than necessary at all times; pick any actor or singer and follow their steps a little, you will most certainly discover that they do it too. It looks like it is the latest Hollywood craze and it is much easier following than resisting. Some stars have of course managed to keep overdressment real —God knows how— and look genuine, something rather unachivable nowadays in the copy-cat age. Either way, this is quite a "cultural" arrangement which appears to be passing through the barriers of LA's golden hills and stepping into the department store-ish homes of the regular tasteless humans (I do not belong to that select crowd, though)

Could anyone possibly put on a pair of winter brown wedge boots over matching leggings, a plain white tee with a corset-high wide belt and a cotton oversize jacket only to take out the trash? Apparently it does not really matter whether it appears as a plausible possibility or not because it is something you should definitely be doing to be considered object of worshiping. People might think you're gone nuts —believe me, it happens— but who cares?! DOs and DONTs do not apply when you're a celeb; everything is as right as outrageous you go on the outfit.
It is time to feed those weird species you have decorating your 60.000$ living-room. Watering the plants seems to require another change of clothes just in case some unexisting neighbour or paparazzi manages to see you through the window. An oxford shirt semi-tucked —looks casual— in your navy shorts 

is just the perfect choice to please your green friends. A chain-like necklace and flip-flops over knee-lenght shocks are too little compared to the useless demodé Louis Vuitton you wear just in case with your cell phone in it and that you won't be using out of home until it's vintage. And don't forget your best friends, sunglasses; they are the only accessory you shall repeat and wear at all times without caring about weather or light.

And just when you're happy and think that everything is going smoothly like a Tod's leather jacket, one of the most awful things that can happen to human kind happens to you. You're cook got pregnant and you felt in your citizen duty to fire her —as if you were Sting— so you can eat in some months time and not prevent your fans from seing you unfitted in your size 0 skinny jeans. Suddenly bravery takes over you and moves you to go and cook still raw products by yourself; so you put on your D&G demin skirt and you pick one of the many shirts you have left from one of your popular hook-ups and wear it too. And turns out it is right on the trend of the season! You get into bussiness and find that a pan is not something you use to iron or dry your undies, but an actual part of the kitchen equipment! But you're not done yet —oh no! What does cooking actually mean? You call Nobu to talk to their cook so he can explain to you how to "easily" prepare their delicious teriyaki chicken. You're such a housewife!

You deserve a break! Working isn't nearly as hard and tough as people say, it is much worse. Change into something nice and comfortable and have a drink while watching a documentary —on Cosmopolitan TV— to forget about the harsh world you have to suffer. Your white mini-dress will do, but it is a bit chilly close to the window so wear something to cover you with: let's say a fur coat. Dry Martini's are great for a break after lunch-time, too bad your couch is too small for you, you'll need to call your agent first thing in the morning to buy a new one just in case you have 30 friends coming to a cocktail party on a Wednesday. Now, thank God you were smart enough to buy the bigest —and most expensive— flat screen so you don't have to bear imagining your nerd face wearing your 300$ designer glasses. Why does someone so famous deserve having to wear help to see properly?! It is so unfair! You're so happy, though!

Just your favourite moment of the day: going to the pool —you're definitely cool— and having your little time of relax in the jacuzzi before getting ready for clubbing! Will be the gardener still working? You should look good if he is, he's hot!; but you'll never get messed up with members of the staff. So you take your black bikini, your chic-est, and wear a dark skirt with a foulard over it to make it "prettier" and, oh, necklaces duh! Just a second more to grab your Chanel bag and the towel and get your make up slightly done not to be so obvious. Just one more thing, you'll look rather super fat wearing flip-flops so you ought to wear heels; the wedges'll do. Hey, don't forget your pool sunglasses! How is it that being so pretty and popular is so difficult? Then people say you have nothing to do, but that is so untrue!

Celebrity alert! After surviving one of the toughest days of your entire life you're dying for some adoration from the fans and a zillion paparazzi waiting in the entrance of "Les Deux" club. As much as you like the moment of stepping down your choffeured car and getting a rain of flash-lights, you have to look pissed, not pleased. It won't be cool that you smiled at them because that's not what celebrities are supposed to do! They need to look mad at them for being chased all around town. But you just love it! Spending most part of your afternoon trying to figure out what to wear to look absolutely different from yesrterday at "Joseph's" is the least you can do if you don't wanna get critics or stop appearing in the "get her look" sections of the magazines. For the occassion, you selected grey denim with your baby-blue Spanish Castañer espadrilles, the Ramones tee you bought having no idea of who the hell could have such a dull name and a stripped rigid bolero jacket. Your brown Birkin bag has enough room to deal with you cell phone, sidekick and blackberry and even that Voss bottle you keep showing so people believe you do not fancy alcohol. Despite being dark since 9pm you will not remove your shades until you've made your way into the club and the same will happen with your electronic gadget and car keys hanging from your other hand.
A long night of —guess what?— excess is ahead of you, make sure you drink what's cool tonight and you get pictured with the hot personalities of the week and you will know your name will keep showing up in the tabloids for another day.

I hope you have enjoyed it. Remember to keep checking back for more updates.
Visit the soVIP fotolog and myspace to see more of it through the outtakes and learn more about the fashions from the shoot.
I'm off.

Paloma sends out a message.


palO! said...

OMG!m encanta!me haré famosa a partir de aqui??jaja

maeve said...

un photoshoot estupendo!me encantan en la que sale regando, y la del coche. buen trabajo so vip team!

un beso grande.


AVA said...

I love the birkin bag, is it a real one? I'm still in the hope of stepping into a vintage store seeing it for a small price..